Ex-Wife

Ex-Wife / Ursula Parrott
Rare Treasure Editions, 2025, c1929
283 p.

I first saw this book on Instagram somewhere, when this reissue came out. It sounded really good and I was lucky to find it as an online book via my library. It's another book from the 20s about marriage and gender roles but very different from the last one I read (The Home Maker). 

It was a lot bleaker than I had expected. It follows Pat as she becomes an ex-wife, one of the growing cadre of them in 1920s New York City. Pat was a young starry-eyed wife, inordinately fond of her philandering husband Peter - this seems to be fine, until she's the one who philanders, and suddenly Peter doesn't want her anymore. 

There were scenes in this book that I wasn't expecting; dark, scary ones of domestic violence - heartbreaking ones of abortion and child loss - rape when Pat's back on the dating scene. This feels scarily contemporary. 

This novel was first published anonymously in 1929, set in the mid 20s, and was considered scandalous. I guess it was okay to live this way, but to talk about women's experiences of it was a no-no. It's also semi-confessional, according to the author's son. This was the original Jazz Age story, one of heavy drinking, dancing, divorce, and the effect of women of these sea changes in social norms. Pat moves in with another divorced woman, Lucia, after she is left on her own. Lucia is a no-nonsense woman with a clear vision of their status. She says: 

The choices for women used to be: marriage, the convent, or the street. They’re just the same now. Marriage has the same name. Or you can have a career, letting it absorb all emotional energy (just like the convent). Or you can have an imitation masculine attitude toward sex, and a succession of meaningless affairs, promiscuity, (the street, that is) taking your pay in orchids and dinner-dates instead of money left on the dresser. 

Once Pat is divorced she goes through waves and stages of grief and longing for Peter's return (meanwhile I just wanted to punch Peter in the throat). The depiction of her grief and distress is powerful and realistic, the experience of heartbreak is laid bare. Pat has so many things to grieve over, and this includes her own loss of innocence and growing cynicism. She travels this road and comes out a different person; the conclusion is natural in a way, but also bittersweet. Definitely a must read for anyone interested in women writing about their lives.